These comments are written primarily for men seeking women.

Make it fun - keep it fun

Whatever your attitude to finding a "mate", Internet dating is great fun. When you see that someone has left you a message, your heart leaps in excitement and anticipation. Keeping it exciting is really about staying objective and working at it. However, I will start at the beginning.

Completing your profile

It is very important to give full information. WSM provide a great deal of information capacity and some of it might be quite personal. If you are hesitant, by all means leave an item or two blank. You can always go back later when you feel more confident. However, if you find that other people give a full blast of information, you can be pretty sure that anyone looking at your limited edition will wonder what you have to hide. So, the more information you give, the better others will respond to your profile.

WSM have a place where you can enter general information about yourself or tell your story. Use it carefully and well. This is one area where most people pick up the vibes of what sort of a person you are. But your women are also looking for information. It is best to prepare this part of your profile in your word processor then cut and paste it to the website entry point. That way, you can go over it as often as you like to polish it. It is also a good idea to look at it again after a couple of days (even if already on the website). You may find you can improve it further. Write for the reader you want to impress. Avoid using block caps. Use punctuation.

In preparing the personal profile, avoid listing the same things that everyone in the World likes. Instead, talk about your particular interests. Do not be afraid of saying what you are really like.

Sell yourself. By this I mean consider what your ideal woman will be looking for. The nuances of language are infinite, so make sure your profile makes you sound attractive and masculine. If you have a sympathetic female friend to read it to, by all means do so. In your effort to sell yourself, avoid sounding arrogant. At a primitive level women may like a man to be a man. They may say that too. But they also like a man to be gentle and reliable. This is the Internet, not the jungle. Save your Tarzan impressions until you meet her. You can then much better weigh up whether she will be impressed.

Should you send photos

I will not repeat the exhortation to send photos if you possibly can. It is best to do it yourself, as you can make a much better job than the site staff will make of it.

Before you choose a photo, just have a look at a few of those sent in by other members. Some are really awful. Who would want to spend an evening with someone who looks as though he is in front of the photographer at Pentonville Prison? Then there is the holiday shot from afar. You can see him there in his shorts and sun glasses, but you really have no idea what his face looks like. Make sure you avoid mistakes like these.

WSM allows several photos, so you can upload several. Make sure at least one is close up and full face - front or half profile. Then for the others you can provide more distant shots. As for bare body - be careful. Men will undoubtedly be attracted more to a photo showing "a bit of body", but if it is not tasteful you may encourage replies from men who may not be what you seek.

Let you photos be honest. And smile.

Who to search for

At the office, we are acutely aware of, and well programmed to respect, the shibboleths of society. We tread carefully where minorities are concerned. We often lie about our innermost feelings. When choosing pour soul mate, we are far more brutal. Instinct rules. Women work in the same way. I am not saying rationality is thrown out of the window, just that the codes imposed by society have less force behind the locked doors of our homes. So what does this mean for you? It means choose people you feel totally comfortable with.

Thank goodness we are all different, so for every Jack there are many possible Jills. One area of discussion is age. Men and women alike are aware of the attraction of having some on your arm who is patently younger than you. Unfortunately, someone has to be the younger one. All I say here is that women still tend to be three or four years younger than men, despite vast numbers of exceptions. I think the reality is that we are so much healthier today that we can all afford to "take a risk" with someone older. Moreover, for over 30s, how old you look is as important as how old you are. If you look 35, women will judge you against other 35 year olds.

Personal security
Remember that the Internet is only a medium. The people you will meet are a cross section of society. You should exercise exactly the same degree of caution as you would with someone you had just met at your sports club.

Messages
Statistically, people send three to five messages each before they either telephone or decide theirs is not a match made in heaven.
What sort of things to say in messages

• Say whatever makes you comfortable.

• Give information and impressions and ask some questions too. Do not expect a woman to reply to a "questionnaire". If you want to know what she does for a living or how many children she has, then first tell her the same information about you.

• If you want to avoid spending time on someone of a different financial class, tell him about your cruise on QM2 and ask him about his holidays. (But do not blame me if your words attract fortune hunters!).

• Flirt gently if you feel like it, but do not mention the "s*x" word.

• Try to progress the relationship. Men are more likely than women to be running several conversations at once. If that is you, make sure you give no hint of it. Make each message unique for that person. If you want to send the same message to several women, ask yourself whose time you are wasting.

• At this stage, do not concern yourself with s*xual expectations - yours or hers. We have assessed a potential mate first at a "face-to-face" for 5 million years. The Internet will not change that. Only a meeting will tell you whether this woman really is attracted to you.

• Do not talk about football all the time or your ex any of the time.

The first date

These comments are not particularly exclusive to Internet dating, but I include them in case they may help you.

• Fix the meeting somewhere with other people around. She will feel more comfortable. Avoid anything outdoors unless the weather is very reliable.

• Take her car and mobile number and give her yours.

• Dress clean and smart or casual. She will almost certainly have dressed for the occasion

• Make quite sure you are talking about the same venue!

• It is OK for girls to be up to ten minutes late - expect it. But make sure you are ten minutes early - just in case.

• Prepare a few conversation starters - some questions, some observations.

• If you want to be really methodical, consider what you want to know about her to make it worth your while to continue - and make sure you ask!

• Remember she is just as nervous as you!