These comments are written primarily for women seeking men. They may not entirely apply if you are a gay woman.

Make it fun - keep it fun
Whatever your attitude to finding a partner, Internet dating is great fun. When you see that someone has left you a message, your heart leaps in excitement and anticipation. Keeping it exciting is really about staying objective, staying confidential until you are comfortable and [inspirational words to be added!] However, I will start at the beginning.

Completing your profile
It is very important to give full information. WSM provide a great deal of information capacity and some of it might be quite personal. If you are hesitant, by all means leave an item or two blank. You can always go back later when you feel more confident. However, if you find that other people give a full blast of information, you can be pretty sure that anyone looking at your limited edition will wonder what you have to hide. So, the more information you give, the better others will respond to your profile. Look at it this way: suppose you wanted a car. You look in the newspaper for adverts. One says "This car is everything you ever wanted". Another gives a picture of the car and detailed information about the body, engine and performance. Which advert do you think will achieve the best response?.

WSM have a place where you can enter general information about yourself or tell your story. Use it carefully and well. This is one area where most people pick up the vibes of what sort of a person you are. But your men are also looking for information. It is best to prepare this part of your profile in your word processor then cut and paste it to the website entry point. That way, you can go over it as often as you like to polish it. It is also a good idea to look at it again after a couple of days (even if already on the website). You may find you can improve it further. Write for the reader you want to impress. Avoid using block caps. Use punctuation. Avoid moaning and negative comments.

In preparing the personal profile, avoid listing the same things that all the World likes. Instead, talk about your particular interests. Do not be afraid of saying what you really like.

Sell yourself. Mr Right has a choice. If you want him to choose you, tell him everything admirable, sexy, feminine and fun about you.

Should you send pictures
I will not repeat the exhortation to send photos if you possibly can. It is best to do it yourself, as you can make a much better job than the site staff will make of it.

Before you choose a photo, just have a look at a few of those sent in by other members. Some are really awful. Who would want to spend an evening with someone who looks as though he is in front of the photographer at Pentonville Prison? Then there is the holiday shot from afar. You can see him there in his shorts and sun glasses, but you really have no idea what his face looks like. Make sure you avoid mistakes like these.

WSM allows several photos, so you can upload several. Make sure at least one is close up and full face - front or half profile. Then for the others you can provide more distant shots. As for bare body - be careful. Men will undoubtedly be attracted more to a photo showing "a bit of body", but if it is not tasteful you may encourage replies from men who may not be what you seek.

Let you photos be truthful. And smile.

Personal security
Remember that the Internet is only a medium. The people you will meet are a cross section of society. You should exercise exactly the same degree of caution as you would with someone you had just met at your sports club. I occasionally see profiles of women "warning off" a particular type of man. That is not a good policy to adopt. The reaction of men is first that you should be old enough to look after yourself, secondly to avoid a woman who might turn out to be embittered.

The best way to look after yourself is to use common sense. Exchange a few messages before you give a stranger your telephone number. Try to find out his story. Does it add up? Where does he live? Be reasonably cautious and rely on your instincts. Similar considerations apply of course when you meet in reality.

Should you initiate a relationship?
Of course you should. This is the 21st century. Approximately 80% of communications are started by men. There is no reason why that should be. Yes, I know, we still love to be chased and wooed. But if you have a job to hold down, do you really have time for the luxury of waiting for Mr Perfect to walk into your life? Do not wait for him to choose someone else when you may be his Ms Perfect. Manage your relationships pro-actively. If you want to play "hard to get", there is plenty of time once you are exchanging messages.

What is more, you have paid your subscription. The best way to obtain value from it is to get on-line every night and keep sending out the messages.

Statistically, people send three to five messages each before they either telephone or decide theirs is not a match made in heaven.

What sort of things to say in messages

• Prepare your message in a word processor, then cut and paste. You can read it more easily and you will be more inclined to shape it into a real work of art. What is more, you can use some of the same text in messages to others - but make sure you include something in each message to hide the fact that it might be one of several!

• Say whatever makes you comfortable

• Give information and impressions and ask some questions too. Do not expect a man to reply to a "questionnaire". If you want to know what he does for a living or how many children he has, then first tell him the same information about you.

• If you want to avoid spending time on someone of a different financial class, tell him about your cruise on QM2 and ask him about his holidays. (But do not blame me if your words attract fortune hunters!).

• Do not worry about your (modest) financial standing. Most men are still happy to be bread winners and to take you on whether you are 20 or 70.

• Flirt gently if you feel like it, but do not mention the "s*x" word.

• Try to progress the relationship. Men are more likely than women to be running several conversations like yours at once. If you give the impression that it is all too much trouble, they may look elsewhere.

• At this stage, do not concern yourself with s*xual expectations - yours or his. We have assessed a potential mate first at a "face-to-face" for 5 million years. The Internet will not change that. Only a meeting will tell you whether this man really is attractive to you.

• Do not talk about your children all the time or your ex any of the time.

No response

Website managers cannot make someone respond! The person to whom you have written may have found someone else, be on holiday, be too busy to come on-line, or just prefer to "talk" with one person at a time. That is why you have to be pro-active too. Of course, there is a good argument for not spending too much time on your first message - then you have lost little if it never reaches "home".

The first date
These comments are not particularly exclusive to Internet dating, but I include them in case they may help you.

• The meeting place is very important. You are both far more likely to be comfortable with each other if you do not have to worry about external matters. Leave yourself space. Leave snug corners in busy pubs for a later meeting. Avoid pubs likely to be frequented by neighbours, pupils or constituents! Outdoors is very good provided the weather is kind and there are other people around.

• Take his car and mobile number and give him yours.

• Dress up rather than down, but avoid anything severe.

• Make quite sure you are talking about the same venue!

• It is OK to be up to ten minutes late - but no more.

• Prepare a few conversation starters - some questions, some observations.

• If you want to be really methodical, consider what you want to know about him to make it worth your while to continue - and make sure you ask!

• Do not worry if there is an occasional quiet moment between you

• Remember he is just as nervous as you.

• If you did not have his contact details at the start, you may decide to ask at the end. Many a good prospect has slipped through the net for lack of a phone number.

Keep trying

Some people will strike luck very quickly; others will labour and communicate for months and still not find their prince. Do keep trying! Stay pro-active. Do not let your membership run out before you have met a reasonable of people.